Shadow Kiss Chapter 1

OneHIS FINGERTIPS SLID ALONG my spinal column, applying hardly any pressure, yet sending stripe waves over my flesh. Slowly, slowly, his hands moved across my skin, d hold the sides of my stomach to fin alto abidehery rest in the curves of my hips. Just below my ear, I felt his lips press against my neck, followed by another(prenominal) kiss honest below it, then another, then another. His lips moved from my neck toward my cheek and then lastly found my mouth. We kissed, wrapping ourselves closer together. My descent burned within me, and I felt more alive in that moment than I ever had. I love him, loved Christian so frequently that Christian?Oh no.Some co herent part of me immediately realized what was happening and boy, was it pissed off. The rest of me, however, was withal actually living in this encounter, experiencing it as though I was the one being touched and kissed. That part of me couldnt break away. Id merged too much with Lissa, and for all intents and purposes, this was happening to me.No, I told myself sternly. Its not real not for you. fare out of in that location.But how could I listen to logic when ein truth nerve of my body was being set on heighten?You arent her. This isnt your head. Get out.His lips. in that respect was nothing in the world right now except his lips.Its not him. Get out.The kisses were the same, exactly as I remembered with him. No, its not Dimitri. Get outDimitris name was exchangeable snappy water hitting me in the face. I got out.I sat upright in my bed, utterly feeling smothered. I tried kicking off the covers only mostly ended up entangling my legs even more. My heart beat hard in my chest, and I tried to dispatch deep breaths to steady myself and return to my own reality.Times sure had changed. A long time ago, Lissas nightmares used to wake me from sleep. Now her sex aliveness did. To read the two were a little different would be an understatement. Id actually gotten the hang of blocking out her r omantic interludes at least when I was awake. This time, Lissa and Christian had (unintentionally) outsmarted me. In sleep, my defenses were down, allowing strong emotions to pass by dint of the psychic link that connected me to my best friend. This wouldnt concur over on been a problem if the two of them had been in bed want familiar people and by being in bed, I mean asleep.God, I muttered, sitting up and swinging my legs over the side of the bed. My voice was muffled in a yawn. Couldnt Lissa and Christian down seriously kept their hands off each other until waking hours?Worse than being woken up, though, was the way I still felt. Sure, none of that making out had actually happened to me. It hadnt been my skin being touched or my lips being kissed. Yet my body seemed to feel the loss of it nonetheless. It had been a very long time since Id been in that kind of situation. I ached and felt warm all over. It was idiotic, but suddenly, desperately, I wanted somebody to touch me even just to hold me. But definitely not Christian. The memory of those lips on mine flashed back through my mind, how theyd felt, and how my sleepy self had been so certain it was Dimitri kissing me.I stood up on shaky legs, feeling restless and well, sad. Sad and empty. Needing to walk off my weird mood, I put on a robe and slippers and leave my room for the bathroom down the hall. I splashed cool water on my face and stared in the mirror. The reflection looking back at me had abstruse hair and blood thrust eyes. I looked sleep-deprived, but I didnt want to go back to bed. I didnt want to risk falling asleep quite yet. I inevitable something to wake me up and shake away what Id seen.I left the bathroom and turned toward the stairwell, my feet light on the steps as I went downstairs. The premier floor of my dorm was still and quiet. It was almost noon the middle of the night for vampires, since they ran on a nocturnal schedule. Lurking near the edge of a doorway, I scanne d the lobby. It was empty, surrender for the yawning Moroi man sitting at the front desk. He leafed halfheartedly through a magazine, held to consciousness hardly by the finest of threads. He came to the magazines end and yawned again. bend in his revolving chair, he tossed the magazine on a table behind him and reached for what must keep back been something else to read.While his back was turned, I darted past him toward the set of persona doors that opened outside. Praying the doors wouldnt squeak, I carefully opened one a crack, just enough to slip through. Once outside, I eased the door shut as gently as possible. No noise. At most, the guy would feel a draft. Feeling like a ninja, I stepped out into the light of daytime.Cold arise blasted me in the face, but it was exactly what I needed. Leafless tree branches swayed in that wind, clawing at the sides of the stone dorm like fingernails. The sun peeped at me from among lead-colored clouds, further reminding me that I sho uld be in bed and asleep. Squinting at the light, I tugged my robe tighter and walked nearly the side of the building, toward a spot among it and the gym that wasnt quite so exposed to the elements. The slush on the sidewalk soaked into the cloth of my slippers, but I didnt care.Yeah, it was a typically miserable winter day in Montana, but that was the point. The crisp air did a lot to wake me up and chase off the remnants of the virtual love scene. Plus, it kept me firmly in my own head. Focusing on the cold in my body was better than remembering what it had felt like to suck Christians hands on me. Standing there, stark(a) off at a cluster of trees without really seeing them, I was surprised to feel a spark of anger at Lissa and Christian. It must be nice, I belief bitterly, to do some(prenominal) the hell you wanted. Lissa had often commented that she wished she could feel my mind and experiences the way I could feel hers. The truth was, she had no idea how thriving she w as. She had no idea what it was like to have someone elses thoughts intruding on yours, someone elses experiences muddling yours. She didnt know what it was like to live with someone elses perfect love life when your own was nonexistent. She didnt understand what it was like to be filled with a love so strong that it make your chest ache a love you could only feel and not express. Keeping love buried was a lot like retention anger pent up, Id learned. It just ate you up internal until you wanted to scream or kick something.No, Lissa didnt understand any of that. She didnt have to. She could carry on with her own romantic affairs, with no regard for what she was doing to me.I observe then that I was breathing heavily again, this time with rage. The icky feeling Id felt over Lissa and Christians late-night hookup was gone. It had been replaced by anger and jealousy, feelings born of what I couldnt have and what came so easily to her. I tried my best to swallow those emotions back I didnt want to feel that way toward my best friend.Are you sleepwalking? a voice asked behind me.I spun around, startled. Dimitri stood there watching me, looking both amused and curious. It would figure that plot of land I was raging over the problems in my foul love life, the source of those problems would be the one to find me. I hadnt heard him approach at all. So much for my ninja skills. And honestly, would it have killed me to pick up a brush before I went outside? Hastily, I ran a hand through my long hair, knowing it was a little too late. It probably looked like an animal had died on top of my head.I was testing dorm security, I express. It sucks.A hint of a smile played over his lips. The cold was really starting to seep into me now, and I couldnt help but notice how warm his long leather coat looked. I wouldnt have minded wrapping up in it.As though reading my mind, he said, You must be halt. Do you want my coat?I shook my head, deciding not to citation that I coul dnt feel my feet. Im fine. What are you doing out here? Are you testing security too?I am security. This is my watch. Shifts of school guardians always patrolled the grounds while everyone else slept. Strigoi, the undead vampires who stalked living Moroi vampires like Lissa, didnt come out in sunlight, but students breaking rules say, like, sneaking out of their dorms were a problem night and day.Well, good work, I said. Im glad I was able to help test your awesome skills. I should be press release now.Rose Dimitris hand caught my arm, and de evoke all the wind and dispirit and slush, a flash of heat shot through me. He released me with a start, as though he too had been burned. What are you really doing out here?He was using the stop fooling around voice, so I gave him as truthful an answer as I could. I had a disconsolate dream. I wanted some air.And so you just rushed out. Breaking the rules didnt even cross your mind and neither did putting on a coat.Yeah, I said. That p retty much sums it up.Rose, Rose. This time it was his exasperated voice. You neer change. Always jumping in without select forwarding.Thats not true, I protested. Ive changed a lot.The amusement on his face suddenly faded, his expression growing troubled. He studied me for several moments. Sometimes I felt as though those eyes could see right into my soul. Youre right. You have changed.He didnt seem very happy about the ad spendion. He was probably thinking about what had happened almost three weeks ago, when some friends and I had gotten ourselves captured by Strigoi. It was only through sheer luck that wed managed to escape and not all of us had gotten out. Mason, a good friend and a guy whod been crazy about me, had been killed, and part of me would never forgive myself for it, even though Id killed his murderers.It had given me a darker outlook on life. Well, it had given everyone here at St. Vladimirs Academy a darker outlook, but me especially. Others had begun to notice the oddment in me. I didnt like to see Dimitri concerned, though, so I played off his observation with a joke.Well, dont get at. My birthdays coming up. As soon as Im eighteen, Ill be an adult, right? Im sure Ill wake up that morning and be all mature and stuff.As Id hoped, his frown softened into a small smile. Yes, Im sure. What is it, about a month?Thirty-one days, I announced primly.Not that youre counting.I shrugged, and he laughed.I suppose youve made a birthday list too. Ten pages? spaced? Ranked by order of priority? The smile was still on his face. It was one of the relaxed, genuinely amused ones that were so rare to him.I started to make another joke, but the image of Lissa and Christian flared into my mind again. That sad and empty feeling in my stomach returned. Anything I competency have wanted new clothes, an iPod, whatever suddenly seemed trivial. What did material things like that mean compared to the one thing I wanted most of all? God, I really had changed.N o, I said in a small voice. No list.He tilted his head to better look at me, making some of his shoulder-length hair blow into his face. His hair was brown, like mine, but not nearly as dark. Mine looked black at times. He brushed the unruly strands aside, only to have them immediately blow back into his face. I cant believe you dont want anything. Its going to be a boring birthday. independence, I thought. That was the only gift I longed for. Freedom to make my own choices. Freedom to love who I wanted.It doesnt matter, I said instead.What do you He stopped. He understood. He always did. It was part of why we connected like we did, in spite of the seven-year gap in our ages. Wed fallen for each other last fall when hed been my combat instructor. As things heated up between us, wed found we had more things to worry about than just age. We were both going to be protecting Lissa when she graduated, and we couldnt let our feelings for each other distract us when she was our priority. Of course, that was easier said than done because I didnt think our feelings for each other were ever really going to go away. Wed both had moments of weakness, moments that led to stolen kisses or saying things we really shouldnt have. After Id escaped the Strigoi, Dimitri had told me he loved me and had pretty much admitted he could never be with anyone else because of that. Yet, it had also become clear that we still couldnt be together either, and we had both slipped back into our old roles of keeping away from each other and pretending that our relationship was strictly professional.In a not-so-obvious attempt to change the subject, he said, You can deny it all you want, but I know youre freezing. allows go inside. Ill take you in through the back.I couldnt help feeling a little surprised. Dimitri was rarely one to avoid ill-fitting subjects. In fact, he was notorious for pushing me into conversations about topics I didnt want to deal with. But talking about our dysfunctional , star-crossed relationship? That was a place he apparently didnt want to go today. Yeah. Things were definitely changing.I think youre the one whos cold, I teased, as we walked around the side of the dorm where novice guardians lived. Shouldnt you be all tough and stuff, since youre from Siberia?I dont think Siberias exactly what you imagine.I imagine it as an arctic wasteland, I said truthfully.Then its definitely not what you imagine.Do you miss it? I asked, glancing back to where he walked behind me. It was something Id never considered before. In my mind, everyone would want to live in the U.S. Or, well, they at least wouldnt want to live in Siberia. wholly the time, he said, his voice a little wistful. Sometimes I wish BelikovA voice was carried on the wind from behind us. Dimitri muttered something, and then shoved me further around the corner Id just rounded. Stay out of sight.I ducked down behind a bank of holly trees that flanked the building. They didnt have any berries, but the thick clusters of sharp, pointed leaves scratched where my skin was exposed. Considering the freezing temperature and possible discovery of my late-night walk, a few scratches were the least of my problems right now.Youre not on watch, I heard Dimitri say several moments later.No, but I needed to talk to you. I recognize the voice. It belonged to Alberta, captain of the Academys guardians. Itll just take a minute. We need to shuffle some of the watches while youre at the trial.I figured, he said. There was a funny, almost uncomfortable note in his voice. Its going to put a strain on everyone else bad timing.Yes, well, the queen runs on her own schedule. Alberta sounded frustrated, and I tried to figure out what was going on. Celeste leave take your watches, and she and Emil will divide up your training times.Training times? Dimitri wouldnt be conducting any trainings bordering week because Ah. That was it, I realized. The field experience. Tomorrow kicked off six week s of hands-on practice for us novices. Wed have no classes and would get to protect Moroi night and day while the adults tested us. The training times must be when Dimitri would be out participating in that. But what was this trial shed mentioned? Did they mean like the final trials we had to undergo at the end of the school year?They say they dont mind the extra work, continued Alberta, but I was wondering if you could even things out and take some of their shifts before you leave?Absolutely, he said, words still short and stiff.Thanks. I think thatll help. She sighed. I wish I knew how long this trial was going to be. I dont want to be away that long. Youd think itd be a done deal with Dashkov, but now I hear the queens getting cold feet about imprisoning a major royal.I stiffened. The chill running through me now had nothing to do with the winter day. Dashkov?Im sure theyll do the right thing, said Dimitri. I realized at that moment why he wasnt saying much. This wasnt something I was supposed to hear.I hope so. And I hope itll only take a few days, like they claim. Look, its miserable out here. Would you mind coming into the office for a second to look at the schedule?Sure, he said. Let me check on something first.All right. See you soon.Silence fell, and I had to assume Alberta was walking away. Sure enough, Dimitri rounded the corner and stood in front of the holly. I shot up from my hiding spot. The look on his face told me he already knew what was coming.Rose Dashkov? I exclaimed, trying to keep my voice low so Alberta wouldnt hear. As in Victor Dashkov?He didnt bother denying it. Yes. Victor Dashkov.And you guys were talking aboutDo you mean I was so startled, so dumbstruck, that I could barely get my thoughts together. This was unbelievable. I thought he was locked up Are you saying he hasnt been on trial yet?Yes. This was definitely unbelievable. Victor Dashkov. The guy whod stalked Lissa and tormented her mind and body in order to control her pow ers. Every Moroi could use magic in one of the four elements earth, air, water, or fire. Lissa, however, worked an almost unheard of fifth element called spirit. She could heal anything including the dead. It was the reason I was now psychically linked to her shadow-kissed, some called it. Shed brought me back from the car accident that had killed her parents and brother, binding us together in a way that allowed me to feel her thoughts and experiences.Victor had learned long before any of us that she could heal, and hed wanted to lock her away and use her as his own personal Fountain of Youth. He also hadnt hesitated to kill anyone who got in his way or, in the case of Dimitri and me, use more creative ways to stop his opponents. Id made a lot of enemies in seventeen years, but I was pretty sure there was no one I scorned as much as Victor Dashkov at least among the living.Dimitri had a look on his face I knew well. It was the one he got when he thought I might pigeon berry s omeone. Hes been locked up but no, no trial yet. Legal proceedings sometimes take a long time.But theres going to be a trial now? And youre going? I spoke through clenched teeth, trying to be calm. I suspected I still had the Im going to punch someone look on my face.Next week. They need me and some of the other guardians to testify about what happened to you and Lissa that night. His expression changed at the mention of what had occurred four months ago, and again, I recognized the look. It was the fierce, protective one he got when those he cared about were in danger.Call me crazy for asking this, but, um, are Lissa and I going with you? I had already guessed the answer, and I didnt like it.No.No?No.I put my hands on my hips. Look, doesnt it seem reasonable that if youre going to talk about what happened to us, then you should have us there?Dimitri, fully in strict-instructor mode now, shook his head. The queen and some of the other guardians thought itd be best if you didnt go. Theres enough evidence between the rest of us, and besides, criminal or not, he is or was one of the most powerful royals in the world. Those who know about this trial want to keep it quiet.So, what, you thought if you brought us, wed tell everyone? I exclaimed. Come on, comrade. You really think wed do that? The only thing we want is to see Victor locked up. Forever. Maybe longer. And if theres a chance he might walk free, you have to let us go.After Victor had been caught, hed been taken to prison, and Id thought that was where the story had ended. Id figured theyd locked him up to rot. It had never occurred to me though it should have that hed need a trial first. At the time, his crimes had seemed so obvious. But, although the Moroi government was secret and separate from the human one, it operated in a lot of the same ways. Due do by and all that.Its not my decision to make, Dimitri said.But you have influence. You could speak up for us, especially if Some of my anger dimm ed just a little, replaced by a sudden and startling fear. I almost couldnt say the next words. Especially if there really is a chance he might get off. Is there? Is there really a chance the queen could let him go?I dont know. Theres no telling what she or some of the other high-up royals will do sometimes. He suddenly looked tired. He reached into his pocket and tossed over a set of keys. Look, I know youre upset, but we cant talk about it now. I have to go meet Alberta, and you need to get inside. The square key will let you in the far side door. You know the one.I did. Yeah. Thanks.I was sulking and hated to be that way especially since he was saving me from getting in trouble but I couldnt help it. Victor Dashkov was a criminal a villain, even. He was power-hungry and greedy and didnt care who he stepped on to get his way. If he were loose againwell, there was no telling what might happen to Lissa or any other Moroi. It enraged me to think that I could do something to help p ut him away but that no one would let me do it.Id taken a few steps forward when Dimitri called out from behind me. Rose? I glanced back. Im sorry, he said. He paused, and his expression of regret turned wary. And youd better bring the keys back tomorrow.I turned away and kept going. It was probably unfair, but some childish part of me believed Dimitri could do anything. If hed really wanted to get Lissa and me to the trial, I was certain he could have.When I was almost to the side door, I caught movement in my peripheral vision. My mood plummeted. Great. Dimitri had given me keys to sneak back in, and now someone else had busted me. That was typical of my luck. Half-expecting a teacher to demand to know what I was doing, I turned and prepared an excuse.But it wasnt a teacher.No, I said softly. This had to be a trick. No.For half an instant, I wondered if Id ever really woken up. Maybe I was actually still in bed, asleep and dreaming.Because surely, surely that was the only score f or what I was now seeing in front of me on the Academys lawn, lurking in the shadow of an ancient, gnarled oak.It was Mason.